growing out my hair, and looking forward to halloween

gif of a string of halloween decorations

I'm back and here's what's going on in my life. So, let me start off with saying... I kinda forgot that I had this website for a while. SHOCKING. But yeah, I didn't get bored of it and then purposefully abandon it, it's more like that I just had a whole lot of other things that were at the forefront of my mind and updating this website was not one of them. Because I dearly love this website, I truly do, but sometimes having to make new entires in this thing is more of a pain than what it's worth. However, I definitely am going to keep updating the site in the future, just probably a lot more slowly than I was in the beginning now that I've gotten over the bulk of the coding so now the updating has become just a little more tedious, especially because I'm a perfectionist in this aspect.

But anyway, I've been up to a few things since the last journal update. So first of all, one of the things that was keeping me from updating is that I was watching a LOT of movies. One of my New Year's resolutions last year was that this year I would watch 52 new movies that I've never seen before. That means that I'd be watching at least one movie a week, and also logging it down and perhaps even writing a review of it. So at least a few of the movies that I watched I am going to write a review for in the movies tab of this site. So hopefully that gets me back in the swing of things when it comes to updating this website, and hopefully it'll motivate me to update it more often. The stories tab of my website is still sadly barren but never fear, for I have been reading books in my spare time as well so I might have at least a few that I will review and link in that tab for you to maybe check out later.

Now with all that out of the way, you may have noticed that in the title of this journal entry mentioned that I'm growing out my hair. Now for the people reading this who don't know, which is probably most of you, for the past 4-ish years or so, I've had pretty short hair. Sometimes buzzed, sometimes longer but still above shoulder length, etc. But one thing that I've come to realize in all this time is that cutting my hair kind of acts as an unhealthy coping mechanism for me. And you might be thinking, why would cutting your hair be unhealthy? And the reason issss that I've noticed a pattern here. The pattern being that how short my hair is also reflects my mental state and well-being. When my hair was at its shortest, my self-esteem was also at it's lowest. Any time I feel bad about myself, instead of trying to find the source of my problems, I just pick up my scissors and give myself a haircut and act like I'm rid of my problems.; new hair new me.

However, that kind of thinking isn't good for me in the grand scheme of things. And so, that's why I decided that I'm going to let my hair grow out again, and grow to whatever length it wants to. Back when I was in 5th grade, my hair was right below my hips, so that's probably the length that I have to look forward to. I'm telling myself now that if at any hairlength I become uncomfortable I am NOT allowed to pick up the scissors and instead am going to have to sit with my feelings and evaluate them to see if those feelings are really tied to my hair or if I'm just avoiding the problem. Because spoiler alert, most of the time I'm just avoiding the bigger problem. However, I am one impatient bastard, so I've also been watching haircare videos non-stop trying to get all the tips that I possibly can, find all the things that I should avoid, all the brands that I should look into, what my hair routine should include for optimal hair health, etc etc. So I'm pretty excited about how this is going to turn out as you can tell, and luckily for me my hair already grows faster than the average person's but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try to find ways to make it grow even faster.

Speaking of things to look forward to, I'm also getting excited about halloween because it feels like last fall was forever ago, because this year winter weather lasted well into spring, and then we pretty much skipped over spring all-together and went straight into hot summers, and it's finally starting to cool down again now. Fall didn't used to be a favourite season of mine, but now it's definitely getting up there because there's just so much worth enjoying. The chilled air, the turning leaves, tv shows running their halloween specials, horror movie marathons... yeah.... it's all great.

sparkly gif of a snowglobe that has a stylized cartoon drawing of a dog, black cat, and ghost around a giant pumpkin in the center of the globe

back to journal